Two of a Kind

For those of you in a temperamental state this evening here is an unforeseen fact to activate this post, my fraternal twin sister and I uncommonly occupy separate birthdays. Immediately cease in your attempt to hustle our whereabouts to 'Take a Break' magazine or a Romanian circus and let me briefly explain myself as we aren't as blemished as you'd think (never thought I would say that). Twenty years ago on one dark, grim night in London there was a pair of turkeys both ten minutes before and after midnight. Consequently we are not that Wacko Jacko after all.

Affirmative, I do undoubtedly inhabit life as a twin however I have always overlooked and disparaged this actuality. To me subjectively the connection with my twin sister is no different to that of my other two siblings. I feel no additional bond or alliance with her than I do with either of the other two branches of our ancestral tribe. In contrast to this long-winded testimony I have drafted a list of misconceptions and drawbacks that subsisting mortal being as a twin shadows.

1. Folk always presuppose it must be superb to get the opportunity to share your birthday with a sibling. Regrettably it's not a godsend but an actual disadvantage. On my birthday I lust for the entire cake not half, I long for a birthday song that doesn't involve an extended dubbed chorus and finally beyond any shred of doubt I did not want five candles on my tenth birthday I needed all ten to celebrate the milestone of transcending into double-digit territory (compliments to Blogger for assisting me in striking that nerve so dramatically).

2. It obviously doesn't happen now but when I was younger it was horrifying to be made wear matching or corresponding outfits to that of my sister's. Years ago the novelty was indeed there to decorate us in identical dungarees and comparable Babybop costumes. The same occurred with the majority of gifts, cards and school supplies. You earn your originality in this lifetime.

3. Camouflaged to the back of every twin affiliated conversation are several telepathic-empowered suspicions. By virtue of being a twin you are automatically considered the spawns of Mystic Meg capable of gazing aimlessly into a crystal ball through the wonders of a sixth sense.

4. Queries questioning whether or not twins bicker or conflict much are frankly in the words of the honourable playwright Dizzee Rascal 'bonkers'. You try sharing a cramped womb with someone for nine months and then I'll answer that question efficiently.

5. Assumptions that one is good and the other is evil are senseless. In our case, one of us is troublesome and the other one is borderline Emily Rose. In my own personal case I'm my sister's own evil twin and although I do enjoy undertaking endeavours to corrupt her it is upsetting to think that somewhere in the world I don't have an evil duplicate out to extract the poisonous villain within me.