Inked In

When I was younger I never thought that I would get a tattoo. I was never completely against them, I liked them, my own mother had a few and I thought they were beautiful and a great form of personal expression. But at the same time I knew I hated needles, I had a non-existent pain threshold and I felt I would be just as happy to go without.

Then life threw me a few curve balls that I wasn't expecting like it does to so many others. Some people see a tattoo as a healing or learning process. I wanted one to document a certain stage of my life that I overcame, I wanted one for me, a personal objective. The deep meanings we hold are a definition of our character, so after two solid years of contemplating it this Autumn I finally took the plunge. 

I got a matching one with both my mother and younger sister, the three of us went for an anchor design and as this post will explain the context behind our ink goes beyond mere aesthetic appeal.


Obviously the tattoo has meanings that are more than just the sea and the ships it holds steady. Since an anchor is what puts down roots deep into the sea to hold a ship in place, it has been associated with strength and stability. By this association the anchor can be seen symbolically as something that holds you in place and provides you the strength to hold on no matter how rough things get. I picked this piece of art to remind myself that no matter how stormy and hard things become, no matter how many knock backs I face, no matter how many times life takes a turn I wasn't expecting I need to hold on and keep doing what I'm supposed to.

The fact that my mother, sister and I got one together adds more depth to it. The tattoo is dedicated to them, the near-and-dear who continue to play a specific role in my life. My family provide me with the courage and wherewithal to hold on no matter what comes my way by being there through it all. I consider these people the anchor in my life. They symbolize a faith I hold that will not give up in the face of abuse and persecution and showcase how important it is to refuse to sink in the sea of life (so cliché).

I realise it is a generic design and the symbolism and meaning I identify with it are common to many others. That's another reason why I love it so much. I grew up an outcast, I had a difficult childhood and the majority of it was spent being insecure thinking I was different from everyone else and questioning why I had to be the odd one out. But as you get older you do grow into yourself and I learned that there are so many people like me out there. This tattoo mirrors this outlook, I'm not as strange as I once thought.

My first tattoo is a badge of honour and I plan to wear it with pride. 
What's an Irish photograph without a few freckles? 

And They're Off

I play many roles in life, and I'm a disappointment in all of them. I'm a barely-adequate student, a so-so brother or son and a subpar employee. I fall short in all of these capacities because I'm cheap, lazy and indifferent to the suffering of my fellow man. But fear not I haven't missed my true calling in life. All of the qualities that make me a terrible human being equally make me a fabulous 'comedy' blogger. I have what it takes to let a situation completely fall apart while I profit at the expense of anyone stupid to be involved, myself included.

Last weekend for example, my father and I were out cruising in his van. We were heading into town to collect my sister from work, I went for the spin as it was a painfully boring Sunday and for once eating crisp sandwiches and playing Sylvanian Families couldn't keep me busy. Quickly though what was just like a scene from Postman Pat manifested into the setting of a Hollywood action blockbuster.

It started off so beautifully. 
I noticed almost instantly that the only vehicle on the road was the one we were in, this is a primary national road, thousands of cars pass through our neck of the woods everyday, something weird was up.

Then out of absolute nowhere a bright red race car sky rocketed past us. Seconds later another set of wheels did the same, I didn't see the drivers inside but I suspected they would be mocking us. Vehicles kept coming and my heart rate kept increasing. I know nothing about motors, but I do know that an impaired three-seater van that reserves an entire seat for Pringles had no place within that race.

Involuntary swearing and rapid scratching followed about five minutes of panicking. We both knew we had to do something before the next Lewis Hamilton joyrode into the back of us. We couldn't pull in as this event could be going on all day and I was not prepared to share such an enclosed space with a social farter for a proceeded amount of time. He sensibly decided to just exit off the next slip road available. 

Of course before this could happen we were exposed, crowds of locals were out to catch a gawk at the madness of Formula One driving. In the space of two minutes anyone I have possibly ever met encountered the embarrassment of my father and I navigating through the absurdity. I saw friends, neighbours, old classmates, ex-bosses, past colleagues, I think I even recognised a babysitter we once had roughly fifteen years ago, they kept coming, ecstatic faces, each one erupting into a louder form of laughter than the other at the sight of Burger King and I looking dumb.

My ogre of a father then for reasons I'll never fully understand decided to beep the horn, again, again and again. Maybe to ease the awkwardness? Maybe because he wanted to challenge the staggering embarrassment to his own advantage? Or maybe because the entire concept of me ever having a healthy social life just was too good to be true.

I'll be honest, if there was a plastic bag in the van at that moment I'd have availed of it for non-recreational purposes. I wanted the ground to swallow me up, it didn't. I wanted to disappear, I didn't. I wanted to cry and eat an entire box of chocolates, that I did do when I eventually got home.

I have little shame left in my life to work with from here.

We were like the mushroom, the mushroom that always finishes last.

Kim Kardashian and those Photographs

Both social and traditional media recently went into a frenzy over the new issue of Paper Magazine, in particular the cover photos of Kim Kardashian posing nude in an attempt to "Break the Internet".

This post is not interested in questioning if or how many butt injections she's had, how much Photoshop was applied to the released images or comparing it to the work of Nicki Minaj.

But rather intends to focus on Kim's motives. It really intrigues and puzzles me what her reasoning behind the shoot was? She already has legions of fans, fame, money and security. So why did she do it?



Is it a form of art? Something intended to be appreciated, representing a woman's rebellion against repressed society? I don't think so, she's not exactly the type of person concerned with trying to tear down barriers. Unlike previous celebrities who have done that, her's I feel is just self-serving provocation that went too far.

It really sends out the wrong impression to women everywhere. I understand everyone has a past and her's has been well publicised but she's a mother now, she has someone to live for, to set an example for. This new chapter in her life was her chance to change society's view of her, I thought she was beyond all this sort of conceited attention but it looks like she's not. Her daughter is going to grow up some day and see these photographs. Kim Kardashian was already known as a sexy woman, she was already recognised as a sex symbol, she has done a sex tape, playboy, she's not afraid to show off her curves. Another photo shoot wasn't needed to ratify this.

If my own mother was to pose like this I'd be so embarrassed and horrified. That's not to say that once you become a parent you should cover up and hide your body. There's nothing wrong with taking pictures like these, they were taken with a very talented photographer, there was nothing (as far as we're aware) sleazy about the whole thing. Your body is not something to be ashamed of, but it's her impulse behind it that is dishonourable.  

Maybe it was the ultimate bad ass move on her own behalf, pun intended. She did it simply because she can. A victim of her own attention hungry lifestyle.

Funny how for a woman with so much money, it really was such a cheap stunt. 


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