Hitting the Gym

The beginning of last September, I both ambitiously and foolishly decided it was a sensible idea to join the gym. It was an intention plaguing me for too long but being a man of reason I held back on a lifestyle change until I was in the correct mind-frame to undertake the task appropriately. Retreating back into college life meant I would gain some time to spare and alas I signed myself up to a full semester's membership. I wrongfully presumed that taking a financial plunge such as this would encourage and urge me to go and eventually attain my money's worth. Three months have pasted and I have gone a meager four times. Thus, I sit here (Dairy Milk in hand) a defeated man. Here are some gym relevant tips to adopt that experience from my four visits have taught me.

1. Devise and forge out an uplifting and lively playlist to mentally oversee you through the pain. You are not going to be in the mood to run your organs off when Dido or Birdy croon their way onto the scene, so be prepared.

2. Whilst in the midst of your exercise ritual avoid mirrors at all costs. Nothing will brace you for the look of horror that red sweat bearing manikin appearing before you will showcase.

3. Answering your mobile phone at the gym is never a wise move, I speak from experience. Taking the call armed with heavy breathing and gasping makes the caller question what activities you were engaging in beforehand. Your eagerness to inform them how busy you currently are only makes matters worse.

4. You know those steroid devoted macho men that spend the entire session lurking around the weights? Avoid them at all costs. Yes, the type that spend more time aroused by their own flexing than actually working out. Those boys will eat us amateurs for breakfast (but only before adding eight eggs to the mixture and guaranteeing that it is minus the yolks).

5. Always lead the impression that you confidently comprehend what you are doing no matter how scary the given equipment is. Or else the on site regulars will never take you seriously. It is worth a mention to plead with you to abstain the urge to tweet/instagram your every trek to the gym, don't be that person.

If only it was that easy Homer, if only.


Suicide in Ireland

My little corner of the internet is primarily humour composed, although others might interpret it differently (I have a Hungarian fan club that view this site as a substitute to Bebo). Sometimes however I do like to tackle more serious topics that I feel are significant and need added attention. Suicide is an issue that affects us all differently. I have a few musings to catapult into the cyber world, no insult or offence intended.

The tragic death of young Galway hurler Niall Donohue launched this often difficult topic back to my attention. I do accept that it was an extremely delicate and raw right issue for his family and friends (perhaps it was a case that they didn't want to continue to comment on how he died but rather how he lived) but something did bother me. Why was the word suicide not mentioned on any news bulletin, tribute or newspaper? It wasn't a tragic car crash and it wasn't the end of a long fight against a terminal illness. It was a suicide. If we as a society are not prepared to say that a twenty-two year old took his own life then nothing will change for young people suffering with emotional turmoil and personal problems. Suicide is a gigantic problem throughout the world, but here in Ireland for too long the stigma associated with suicide has stopped us from talking about our own mental health.
The important thing to remember is you are never alone, there's always people eager to help.


Firstly, in Ireland I feel our mental health service is simply insufficient and severely lacking. The waiting lists for what should be basic counselling are terrible and frightful. People need and deserve more than medical prescriptions for antidepressants, it isn't the way forward. As painful as it is for me to bring up the recession (in this country is it imported into conversation more than the acclaiming stretch in the evenings) but although I understand there has to be financial cutbacks I feel that both the health and education sectors are the most vulnerable departments that suffer the most dramatically from each reduction.

Secondly, as cliché and lame as it does sound but we as a society need to be kinder to each other. The media and politicians along with ourselves need to take responsibility for spreading blame. Every time a newspaper headline takes a cheap shot at those working in the public sector or the unemployed they place more stress on those who are already struggling. Similarly whenever we insert a casual stereotypical insult into our daily chats and rants it can cause anguish. No one knows simply by looking at someone how they suffer and this ought to be remembered. Gestures as simple as a smile cost nothing, a kind word to a stranger costs nothing but actions as basic as these can and do save lives 

Finally, I am not going to babble onto you all about how life is like a prism and in time you will come to discover the light (Katy Perry's latest album has that whole concept covered) but it is important to know that no matter how difficult things are there are always solutions and help out there to guide you through tough times. If you are going through difficulties, taking your own life is never the answer. No matter how big your problems may seem, talking to someone will help. There is plenty of excellent support services out there eager and willing to support, contact them. If all else fails then get in touch with yours truly. I do spend the majority of my time hunchbacked on the inter-web so moan and groan to me. I don't bite, well unless your fork enters my lasagne.
Even the lemons have united to support each other and they're the sourest yokes I know.

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