We Made History

Following the success of last week's post OutWest contacted me wondering if I would be interested in writing a guest author piece for them discussing how I was before the vote and how I feel now that it has passed. OutWest is a voluntary social and support group for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people in the West of Ireland, they do extraordinary work so obviously I was delighted to help out. Plus I'm one always happy to give my two cents on anything, you should all know that by now. Below is the said article.   

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Life is a journey filled with lessons, hardships, heartaches, celebrations and special moments that will ultimately lead us to our destination and purpose. Over the past few months with the marriage referendum approaching I went through my own personal journey. An emotional roller coaster that I plan to share briefly today. This is being done to allow people really grasp how grateful and appreciative I am of the end result and the support witnessed in passing Amendment 34.

Back when polling day felt almost like a different era light-years away, I was quite angry and annoyed with the whole situation. Resentful, I didn't want to acknowledge what our nation was set to face. I understood because of the design of the Irish constitution a referendum was needed (I'm aware of how constitutional change works, for the record I know we're not run by a backwards state and it's great that the people have so much power and control) but I still found it humiliating. We were putting the concept of equal recognition to public vote, whether two people who love each other could marry was up for argument.

( Photo via Cnbc.com )

Throughout the 'debate' we heard a lot about maintaining 'balance'. National broadcasters couldn't show bias, viewpoints had to be expressed equally and upholding neutrality was essential. I took issue with this, mainly because I felt providing exposure to a side that disfavoured the notion of an entire minority of people receiving the same support, kindness and respect as others a bitter pill to swallow. Young LGBT youths are already overly conscious of disapproval, so to see this sort of negative behaviour being tolerated and endorsed on television, on signposts, on streets, through letterboxes was in my opinion causing so much unneeded anxiousness, further confusion and despair.  

I had built up this wall of resentment towards this referendum, a guard that I eventually let down.

( Photo via Change.org )

Guilt then stumbled onto the scene. Was I doing enough? Could I in any way be more productive? Seeing canvassers out advocating on doorsteps, being exposed to abuse yet still upholding nobility and persevering. Having people and businesses vocalising their passion and enthusiasm for equality on social media. The amount of Yes campaigners who sacrificed their privacy to tell people what it meant to them. The bulk of voters who flew home from all over the world to play their part. It became easy for me to doubt my place.

In the end I became overpowered with pride and honour. There's the old saying, you can't teach an old dog new tricks but the speed of transformations in social attitudes we saw was phenomenal. It fast became a social movement. A small religious, socially conservative country had adapted to modern times. This wasn't solely a victory for the young and free spirited, older generations spoke up and were heard. I didn't expect it to be overall that magical or that inspiring, but it was. I went through a self-discovery, and as dramatic as it sounds experienced a lot of soul-searching. The breath and scale of the Yes vote will hopefully continue to stand to me and many others. 

( Photo via Thejournal.ie )

In the end I learned this referendum was important because it helped create acceptance and normalise the LGBT community within society. It reignited momentum, it had a context and became a subject worth talking about and no longer something to just shut down. It showcased how dark the clouds over homophobia are. It helped develop empathy and understanding. The funny thing is in years to come we'll probably appreciate the true extent of what we went through more. The whole experience was very humbling and exhilarating. We reached a step closer to the day when homophobia becomes synonymous with ignorance.

In life you go through many journeys, this for me was one of them. I've learned the road will not always be smooth, in fact throughout our travels we will encounter many challenges and obstacles. But right now after the last few months especially I've realised it's important to just enjoy the ride. 

( Photo via Metro.co.uk )

3 comments Body Image, LGBTI, Lifestyle, Media, Opinion

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