Hitting the Gym

The beginning of last September, I both ambitiously and foolishly decided it was a sensible idea to join the gym. It was an intention plaguing me for too long but being a man of reason I held back on a lifestyle change until I was in the correct mind-frame to undertake the task appropriately. Retreating back into college life meant I would gain some time to spare and alas I signed myself up to a full semester's membership. I wrongfully presumed that taking a financial plunge such as this would encourage and urge me to go and eventually attain my money's worth. Three months have pasted and I have gone a meager four times. Thus, I sit here (Dairy Milk in hand) a defeated man. Here are some gym relevant tips to adopt that experience from my four visits have taught me.

1. Devise and forge out an uplifting and lively playlist to mentally oversee you through the pain. You are not going to be in the mood to run your organs off when Dido or Birdy croon their way onto the scene, so be prepared.

2. Whilst in the midst of your exercise ritual avoid mirrors at all costs. Nothing will brace you for the look of horror that red sweat bearing manikin appearing before you will showcase.

3. Answering your mobile phone at the gym is never a wise move, I speak from experience. Taking the call armed with heavy breathing and gasping makes the caller question what activities you were engaging in beforehand. Your eagerness to inform them how busy you currently are only makes matters worse.

4. You know those steroid devoted macho men that spend the entire session lurking around the weights? Avoid them at all costs. Yes, the type that spend more time aroused by their own flexing than actually working out. Those boys will eat us amateurs for breakfast (but only before adding eight eggs to the mixture and guaranteeing that it is minus the yolks).

5. Always lead the impression that you confidently comprehend what you are doing no matter how scary the given equipment is. Or else the on site regulars will never take you seriously. It is worth a mention to plead with you to abstain the urge to tweet/instagram your every trek to the gym, don't be that person.