Holidays with the Family

The summer season has forsaken us for another year. Although its 2013 edition was full of buffoonery, laughter and twerking it did lack something substantial, a vacation. This is regrettably the first year that the Kirrane tribe failed to venture past their nettle coated back garden for some bonding, bickering and dodgy tanning. Probing for the positives in this mournful fact I've reminisced into five underlying features a holiday with my beloved relatives always incorporates.
1. My father is a minor know it all and he will always undermine and conceal how little he knows about everything. Whilst holidaying he typically half learns one Spanish phrase and applies it at every given opportunity throughout our stay. He fully convinces himself that he is fluent for the entire trip.
2. In a foreign thermal country you are emerged in a paradise of bootiful swimsuit togged women. Then there is my mother hooked on the notion she has the photogenic capabilities to match Eva Longoria and persists on gallivanting around the joint in various bikinis.
3. Us pale skinned folk are consistently in combat with the sun to battle it through another day without the vengeance of its rays. Every single holiday results in the younger sister and I smeared in skin of Mr. Blobby. Howdy young tomato boy and tomato girl.
4. Throughout a holiday my twin sister doesn't travel alone as she is escorted by another entity, her overgrown big toe (equipped with one aggressively sharp toenail). In Ireland it can be tamed and strained by thick black socks, shoes and lack of oxygen. In the tropical horizons it is recklessly out to stab holidaymakers in the pool, violently scar pedestrians passing by the decked out sun-loungers and glare at those in most fear of it. For the duration of our break we all sleep with one eye open in complete unease.
5. No matter where you were trafficking us in the world the gorillas and I would have an epic time. Thus our alliance, bond and wicked sense of humour are the most important elements that lead our family holidays that I'm always honoured to be a part of.
No vacation is complete without the tacky souvenir shops.


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